Dragon Naturally Speaking

Working on THE RED JEEP this morning - not so much because I know how I want it written but because I was practising using DRAGON, the dictating software. I have to use it a bit for it to recognize my "profile" or train it to understand me. It's a pretty cool tool and once I get use to it, I am sure it will make my writing experience all the more interesting.
I have a busy day ahead of me but wanted to check in. I had a wonderful Christmas and hope everyone else did too. The New Year is almost upon us and I look forward to a fresh year of positive developments and increased productivity in my writing life.
I just realized that I should have used Dragon to dictate this blog. DUH!!! Next time.

C.L.LeMay rambles on and on again!!!

It has come to my attention that there is a significant amount of formatting issues with both the e-book and the paperback version of THREE CROSSES. I have also researched it a bit and it seems that there is a software program converting problem. THREE CROSSES as it appears in my MS Word format differs from the e-book and paperback versions. There are sentence breaks, etc. in the e-book and paperback that are not in the Word doc. Also when I review the paperback version on my computer, it appears different than what actually printed in paperback. I am both sorry for the annoyance and the fact that I did not notice previously. But thank you to all of you who read it despite the issues. I don't know yet how I will address this issue and can honestly say, I'm not sure I will do anything about it at this point. I originally made THREE CROSSES publically available because there were quite a few potential readers waiting for it - plus I needed to induldge my Leo personality.
Having said all of that, I have once again been approached by readers/potential readers (as recently as last night) inquiring as to the next publication. Like it or not, I have a group of readers who are waiting patiently for the next book. I think it best to leave the publishing and editing aspects of writing to the professionals and therefore will be looking for professional representation come next year (I say this oh so confidentantly as if they are waiting in line to represent me!). I do not have the time to do the writing, editing, and managing of the publishing aspects of my books. Of course I say that but we will see how far I get with that pursuit! Maybe I will just get a website up and publish books directly to that so readers everywhere can read without editing issues (beyond my own flubs). Of course I will be a poor author because no one would have to pay to read my books.
My brain is certainly overloaded with stories - short stories and novels. I have been dreaming stories. No matter what I am doing, there is a story in my head. Sometimes it is hard to focus on a task at hand because I have characters moving around like there's a movie in my head. Amanda and Simon keep lurking in the sidelines, trying to get my attention. Lurking. I like that word. It's creepy in a way. Creepy. I like that word too. Anyway, I don't know what to do about all these thoughts that keep manifesting into stories or potential stories. I could quit everything I do in life and just write and be busy for the remainder of my life. I have learned how to shut it out so I can focus, but it's getting harder and harder to do because these stories and characters are getting louder. One fo my sisters gave me a magnet once that states "The voices are getting louder. Must be time to write." It speaks to me a lot lately and I feel compelled to succumb to the inevitable (is that spelled correctly? I can't remember how to spell a lot of words today-usually I can sound it out but its like that part of my brain isn't there today) rather than shoving it to the side. And blah, blah, blah. There I go again, rambling on about the same ol' shit, I mean crap, I mean stuff.
So have yourself a Merry Little Christmas if I don't touch base again before the 25th. I am soooo excited for Christmas. It's good to be a kid! Ok, sometimes I just feel like a kid. When the hell did I grow up? I don't remember getting here!

C.L.LeMay shares her favorite authors

I was pondering the fact that I have had a paperback next to my bed for a couple of weeks - unread. I have reread the 1st chapter a couple of times. The chapter is great and I am intrigued but I can't seem to get into it. I think it's because I am thinking so much about my own writings that I can't get very far in my reading. I love to read, many types of books, fiction and non. Mysteries, thrillers, love stories, women's lit, forensics (fiction and non), true crime - you get the jist. I like to read. As I was acknowledging this truth in my head, I realized that I want to share with you, my readers, which authors I have enjoyed the most and most consistently over the years. Aaahhh...so sweet, she wants to share. Now come along children, it's circle time.
C.L.LeMay enjoys...drum roll...Stephen King. Now there's a shock. But what can I say, the guy is talented, prolific, scary, imaginative. He molded my views at a young age as to what powers can be in the hands of an author. And yes...THE STAND is one of my most favorite stories of all time. Sorry, Stephen. I know you find it a little sad that one of your best if not your very best work was written decades ago. Also liked - don't remember the title of the short story, but the one where the guy was bitten by a snake and ends up in the coroner's lab - wow! My heart pounded. Btw, your son is an excellent writer as well. Kudos to the King family writers. Hi Tabitha! One day if I ever meet you guys I will tell you how COVET came to be - it involves me thinking about the two of you as a married writing couple and the potential crisis that could generate. But that's a story for another day.
C.L.LeMay also enjoys Pat Conroy - especially THE PRINCE OF TIDES. You, Mr. Conroy, taught me to write passionately and honestly. I cried, literally balled my eyes out while reading TPOT. I've read many of your other works and am rather in love with your story telling abilities.
C.L.LeMay also enjoys Barabara Delinsky. You are a fine writer with genuine characters and tight plots. THE SUMMER I DARED dared me to bring my writing to another level (especially in ALONG BLACK RIVER). You learn you settings well and educate your readers as well as entertain them. I also cried while reading your book THREE WISHES. It must have been a tough one to write. I also just want to mention that from time to time over the years in my different jobs, I have run into Mrs. Delinsky and she is absolutely a lovely human being. I think she is brave with her personal battle with cancer in the past (and hope it will always be in the past) and I wish you many many healthy wonderful writing years.
C.L.LeMay loved the book THE HISTORIAN by Elizabeth Kostova.
C.L.LeMay enjoys reading Jefferson Bass novels as well as the non-fiction Dr. Bill Bass & Jon Jefferson books. I love the forensics. I am utterly fascinated by it all and if I could start it all over, I would absolutely pursue a career in forensic anthropology (and I don't mean the TV drama version - I mean the real painstaking science) or be a medical examiner.
C.L.LeMay enjoys Reynolds Price but I have to be in the mood (yes, I know I am mixing 1st and 3rd voice). The guy knows how to bring me down, but he does it in a way that I feel enlightened. KATE VAIDEN was my first and my favorite for years until I read THE PROMISE OF REST. Another tear jerker - raw emotions. Be prepared to have your heart broken.
C.L.LeMay recently read George D. Shuman's LAST BREATH. I believe I have read other books by him but can't recall. Extremely impressed by the plot of this book. He amazed me with his skills.
C.L.LeMay adores THE WITCHING HOUR by...oh my God, I cannot think of her name! She wrote INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE. what the heck? I can't think of her name. I can see her face but am drawing a blank on her name!
And of course, there's DUNE. There are no words to describe what a fabulous book this one is. FRANK HERBERT was sheer genius.
There are many other books and authors I have enjoyed over the years. I will mention them in later posts, but quite frankly, I'm done here.
Thanks for reading. Pick up one of these titles soon and share your thoughts.

Short Story on its Way

I am working on a short story - "The Red Jeep" and I will start to post it in the next few days for your reading entertainment. Thought you would like to know:)

3 Cheers for THREE CROSSES

Just wanted to take a minute to say, WOW! I have been getting a recent upsurgence of calls and comments regarding THREE CROSSES and they are all good. I am out of paperback copies and have had several more sales on the Kindle. Very little action on the NOOK. Are people not using the NOOK anymore?
Does anyone know what the reading/book app is for the iPad? I assume you can download any kind but does it have its own platform?
Back to THREE CROSSES - thank you to everyone who has read it or are reading it. And thank you for your comments. Yesterday I had another request for my next novel. That feels amazing! I may not be on the New York Times Best Sellers List (yet) but I have to say, I feel like I am. People who don't really know me or know me at all are asking for the next book. And again, WOW!
And a sidenote - my daughter has been writing for about a year, on and off. A few days ago, she read me a couple of her short stories (school assignments) and I would like to say very proudly, "You go, girl! You have got mad writing skills." Honestly, I was intrigued by her stories. She uses a mixture of details, dialogue (yes, my 11-year old daughter is using dialogue in her stories), and suspense. Kudos to you dear! And to boot, she's having fun with it!

Day 2 of NaNoWriMo

Went into November without a clue as to whether I will use the month to get some serious words in print for ABR or if I would start something new. So last night I started to type something new just to see if I could come up with a new story. I did. I like it. Not many words - only 339 but they are good words. I know - I have a rule not to reread before 1st draft is done. But, what can I say? I've done this writing thing for so long now, I've trained myself to stay on a linear path even if I reread my words. Especially in the beginning because if I set the tone right in the beginning, the rest starts to flow.
Anyway - good luck to you all and share with me your experience during the month. Would love to hear from you!

50,000 words - here I come!

Ok everyone - raid your kid's candy bag and get on a sugar high! The start of the 50K word novel is just a few short hours away! Are you ready? And if you don't write every day, don't despair - you have the whole month to achieve the goal. Besides even if you get 35K words - well that's of a heck of a lot of words. So relax, have fun and start typing in 1...2...3 hours!

NaNoWriMo Countdown!

I met a group of people on Thursday night who are all planning to participate in the NaNoWriMo challenge. Besdies the fact that it was so very exciting to be in a group of writers, I got the opportunity to discuss and answer questions about my approach to writing. There were 3 of us on the panel and I just wanted to say thank you to the other two for orchestrating it, participating, and inviting me to be a part of something incredible. It was a great night and I loved feeling the enthusiasm of the participants. Only a few days left until the starting gun fires for writers everywhere to emerse themselves into a writing frenzy for the month of November! Can't wait. And good luck to all of you, but most importantly - have a blast!!!

more on NaNoWriMo

In an attempt to accomplish many things with a limited amount of time, I have only glanced through the NaNoWriMo.org website. What I gather from it is that the novel writing to take place in November is a fresh story - not some book you are already working on. However, I am considering that I may take the opportunity to commit myself to write 50,000 words for ABR - a book already in the making. Obviously if the rules state that the 50K words are supposed to be a new story, then I will not submit my words in ABR for a word count and thus forfeiting my opportunity to achieve this accomplishment. Although I want very much to do this cool NaNoWriMo thing, I need to stay focused on ABR. So it would hopefully inspire me to do that - knowing that I am amongst a group all attempting to achieve a common goal, and if I work on some other story, then my attention is taken away from ABR. Decisions, decisions. Sometimes I wish someone could just tell me what to do and I just do it. Like, "Cathy, today you have to submit 10 pages to me before you go to bed." Someone to hold me accountable. Preferably someone who pays me. But since I don't like being told what to do, that would be disastrous. I'm such a PITA to myself. I chuckle when I say this - so don't worry that I am discouraged. Humored by myself perhaps, but not discouraged.
Not that I want to get into details, but I do want to share a bit so as to explain my prolonged absence and my lack of writing these past few weeks. I could write for an hour on this topic but really don't want to. The long and short of it is that I have been dealing with some unknown "illness" for weeks - perhaps a couple of months now. If I had to suggest a cause, I would say it mimics Lyme disease - muscle fatigue, general all over fatigue, joint aches, back pain (lower and mid), stomach issues that feel like all my internal organs in my stomach area have been whipped thru a blender and then put back into my body. You get the drift. Per one doctor's recommendation, I started taking vitamin B-12 since my numbers were low for that. It actually is helping with the overall fatigue so I don't constantly feel like I am fighting to get through the day. Not a day has gone by in about 6 weeks that I have not at the least been uncomfortable - for the entire day. At its worst, I reach an acute level of pain usually in my mid back or just an overall ache that brings tears to my eyes. And for those of you who are like me and get curious about this stuff - this all started with a rash around my torso that was diagnosed (although tentatively) as shingles. Anyway, the point of me telling you this is to explain why I have not been focused much on writing, including blog writing. I have had little energy but have continued to work everyday. So I have almost no reserves. Hope I don't sound all whiney (is that how you spell it? - I wish I knew an author so she could help me with my spelling!). I didn't even want to bring all of this up but since I know some people are wondering where the heck I am, I figured this was an opportunity to explain.
And there I go again...rambling on.
It's time to refocus the brain cells and see what the characters in ABR are up.

NaNoWriMo

November is National Novel Writing Month thus the NaNoWriMo (try saying it - it's fun to pronounce!)
If you are unfamiliar with it - here is the jist. Write a novel in a month. Haha! Wise guy! More specifically - write 50,000+ words between November 1st - November 30th. If you get approximately 250 words per pages that works out to about 200 pages total. So it's more like National Novella Writing Month, so be it.
I invite all aspiring novelists to join me in the fight against novel-writing angst (it's a real, horrible condition - and for all of you who are wound too tight, I'm only joking so get over yourselves) by participating in the fun. You can either register at the below link...tada...
http://www.nanowrimo.org/

or if you want to just do it through me, that's cool too. But if you participate with just me, you don't get any cool accolades like you would through the org site. Oh, I suppose I would congratulate you. On a serious note, I would love to communicate with other participants, so please feel free to do so. I have already registered but will most likely deliver my updates through my blog rather than the NaNoWriMo site.
So who's with me?
If you want more details, just ask me or visit the link.

Response to Previous Comment

First - thank you for the kind words, but second - I found her comment that there was no action as of page 60 a constructive comment. I have received many comments over these past few months, mostly very positive ones that are generic such as "I really enjoyed the book." I have had several readers provide me with real constructive comments - such as "you have a good sense of imagery" and then proceed to provide me with specifics. You personally have provided me with lots of constructive comments - all positive. I actually really like that I have a comment that can be perceived as negative. As I said, I may consider that perhaps I need to take the action up a notch because I do ramble on (mostly in real life - not in my novels), but I also am aware that I am not going to change my writing style to accomodate my readers. I like the way I write but like many artists/writers, I will continue to critique my style to consider improvements.
In regards to my "self-justification" - I do that with or without comments from my readers. In a time when every minute counts in the American life, I feel the need to justify the time I take to write - not my writing style, etc. My novels do not at this point produce revenue. It does not do the housework. It does not exercise my body. It does not pay the bills. It does not decrease the paperload. Not only does it not accomplish any of these things, but it takes away from them. And don't get me wrong - I am completely aware that by allowing myself to write and honor my true self, I am a better person all around thus improving the quality of my life and those directly connected to me and who rely on me on a regular basis. But all it really boils down to is that it is an emotional struggle for me - not every minute of the day, not every day - more like an underlying shield. I know where the struggle and guilt stems from - I understand the psychological intricacies of it. I am also completely aware that I am responsible for dismissing the struggle and the guilt. The only person who can give me permission to be a writer is me, but it sure as shit is helpful that I have some great readers.
See what I mean - I ramble on...haha!!! Boy, a psychologist would have a field day with me. Do you think people who enter the psychology fields do so to better understand themselves, to get answers to their own questions? It is a rhetorical question - if you are not self-fascinated, you are avoiding. The obvious answer coming from one who is fascinated by people in general.
Good Lord, I love the use of words!
Carry on, then...

October Greetings from C.L.LeMay

Happy October! A couple of things to go over. First, Blurb has increased the price of my books which really stinks because they are expensive enough as it is. You are still better off contacting me directly for a paperback rather than going through them. I still would appreciate everyone's continued efforts to check the blog out and then hit the link to THREE CROSSES. It keeps my numbers up which has a positive affect on goggle searches.
Next, I have recently heard from several people who have read or are reading THREE CROSSES currently. Overall, still some really great responses but got an interesting one last night. This reader is currently reading THREE CROSSES and said that although she likes my writing style and my details are good, nothing has happened so far. She was at page sixty. Not good from a publishing point of view to be at page 60 and there is no action. I don't think she's necessarily wrong - I was worried about lack of action before publishing THREE CROSSES. In her opinion, the book still works though. I am curious to hear other people's opinions on this. And please, do not feel obligated to stroke my ego. I am aware that I ramble on, both on the page and out of the mouth. I don't want to change my writing style, but am still wondering how my writing style affects the movement of the story. I consistently get messages from readers that state it is a fast moving story - which is usually an indication that there is action.
And the word on ABR is very similiar - easy to read, fast moving, intriguing, and so forth.
So I guess the question is this - does THREE CROSSES have enough action? I don't want to reformat THREE CROSSES or ABR, but I wonder now as I was just sitting down to work on ABR if I need to take it up a notch. I am character driven in my writing, but what can I say, I find people fascinating.
I can feel myself slipping into that mode where I question the validity of my skills, my talent, my writing ability. But I also feel myself pulling away from that mode. No matter how many years of trying to self-justify my writing and the time I put into and now more than ever, the time I want to put into it, it all boils down to the fact that I am a writer. Good or bad. And I believe more good than bad. I love words. I love reading. I love creating characters and situations. I love the feel of a pen in my hand or the keys tapping away under my fingers. I love a good movie with great characters and interesting story lines. And I love that when time allows, I can do this for hours and hours and be transported to wherever the story is. Nothing else exist during that time. It's like when you read a book that transports you somewhere else - it's an escape. An escape that unfolds as I write it.
Another piece of interesting news - a woman that I work with was in her local library recently, as she often is being an avid reader. She had a copy of THREE CROSSES with her and presented it to one of the employees there who happens to be in charge of the adult services. The librarian provided my friend with her business card and requested that I contact her because she would like to have a local author for the book club. I will let you know how that pans out. But isn't that wicked cool? (I really wanted to use the word wicked - I like it, besides, it's October). And many thanks to my friend who obviously wants to see me succeed:)

Touching Base...

Wow, I actually found a few minutes to post. How the heck did that happen? Several quick things - I did send a happy birthday wish to The Poetry Guy but the email kicked back. Mom - please send me an email so I can make sure I have your most recent email address please. And Happy Belated birthday, Dad! And again, I need your links since I deleted the thousands of emails all at once in my mailbox recently. With your permission I would like to put the links on a post so others can read your poems.
Other news, the book club in CT is definitely moving forward with reading THREE CROSSES as their November book! How awesome is that?!!! Am I nervous you ask? Yuuup. But in a good way. I hope it reads as well as everyone says. Of course in my mind there are a million things (ok, maybe not a million) that I want to change in it. But that leads me to the next topic...
ABR - I am having so much fun with this book. It is so easy to write. The characters are basically writing themselves. Unfortunately I still have time limits but when I do write on it, I move along at a good clip. This weekend should get me ahead. I still project getting the final copy out into the world before the end of this year. And then perhaps I will return to A MIRACLE FOR MACKENZIE. It's a different type of story than I usually write, but it's got good potential. Of course I may completely change my mind about the next project. Haha! I do that occasionally.

ABR as of 8/29/11

ABR is moving along. Strong story - I am quite pleased with it. I was on vacation last week and took several days to do not much of anything other than relax, read and enjoy my family. So I have not written every day but I am back on schedule as of this weekend. I am sending out an email in the next few days as a request to recruit the next round of proofreaders. Feel free to volunteer prior to the email. I will need 4-6 readers. For those who need to plan, the manuscript will be available in about 2 weeks. I will either hand deliver a copy or I will mail it to you, depending on your location. I request all readers complete the manuscript no longer than 30 days after you receive your copy. All corrections, questions, suggestions should be noted in red on the manuscript. You can tag pages with those little sticky arrows or sheets. I prefer proofers who are not afraid to be honest. I need those with good grammar skills but more importantly I need readers who will let me know when there are issues with the story line, etc. I also would like to hear what you like about the manuscript. Anyway, the longer I am blogging, the less time I am writing ABR. So have a good night and remember - THREE CROSSES is available in paperback! Place your orders directly through me ($15 per book - discounted price) or follow the Blurb.com link to your left - it is $15.95 from Blurb. It is also available on the Kindle and the NOOK.
Thanks for reading C.L.LeMay:)

Reaction Line

Good morning Readers,
Please remember there is a reaction line at the end of each post. Utilize them. I love seeing reactions checked off - let's me know you are actually reading and have something to declare.
Hey! Guess what! I am soooo very excited about this - a book club has chosen THREE CROSSES as their November book! I look forward to their reaction - good and bad. I will let you know how it goes. Don't you love the concept of book clubs? I also love the idea of starting a writer's forum/group. It would be so much fun to share writing adventures and mishaps with other writers.
Have a great remainder of the weekend.
C.L.LeMay

Writing Project(s) update

ABR is somewhere around page 35. I shut down yesterday without looking at the page number. Would be happier with a faster pace but can't really complain considering I write in snippets here and there. Snipets or snippets? Thank goodness for spellcheck - snippets, in case your are wondering too. Or perhaps you already know that and are thinking "she's a writer?" Re-reading "Cherry Cola" yesterday. Needs some serious improvements but good concept. Thinking that I would fix that up and create a little book or maybe put several short stories together and make a small anthology. Sounds like fun. I'll give it some serious consideration and time once ABR's 1st draft is complete - give it a chance to brew a little bit. Plus I need to investigate the whole book cover thing. How/where do other indie writers get their book cover designs? I can't keep having THREE CROSSES artist/designer donating their time.
So I have plenty to do in the writing world. Wouldn't object to a miracle so I could spend more time on it, but then I get nervous when I think that. What kind of miracle would have to occur? One that prevents me from getting a regular paycheck or has me bedridden? Can I request a miracle with particulars to my liking or is that wrong? Can't have it both ways or all my way kind of thing? I know, brain ramblings again. Haven't shared those in a while - mostly because I figure they get to be too much. But doesn't stop it from occurring. My head is almost constantly analyzing something, everything, nothing. What happens when this happens? Why did he or she do that or do it that way? Why are people so different and so alike at the same time? Why do some people see the big picture and others don't? Why do some people suffer tragedies and come through them still in a functional state and others don't? I know there are answers to all of those questions and I even have my own answers but it doesn't stop me from thinking about them as they apply to daily situations. Not to mention, what I really think about I can't share without sounding like I am a whack job. Think about Carl Jung. That dude's philosophy was laid out in black and white time and time again for the world to review and pick apart and admire. And yet his one piece of authentic insight to his own mind's ramblings did not come to the surface until after his death. Had anyone known his inner thoughts and turmoils during his career, he would have been rejected as a fraud. And yet his professional insights were authentic too. You can have both - the intellectual insights that others grasp and appreciate and the personal insights that are simply the mind wandering into those places that most would rather not go. The complexities of the human mind, heart, soul are all so fascinating. If I were to spend the time on their analysis the way I would like, I would probably find myself in a black hole - no way to return (and I don't mean going crazy - I mean it is an amazing place to go, looking for the explanations of life, so much so that I could spend forever exploring it). Ok - probably too much for this time of the day. Let's have more coffee and shake it off so I can meander into the routine of society and its expectations.
Cheerio and all that good stuff. I'll touch base over the weekend and let you know where ABR stands. Keep your fingers crossed that momentum finds her way to my manuscript.

"Grandma's Quilt" by C.L.LeMay

Quick fingers sewing scraps

into patterns of quilted stars.

Gnarled knuckles over the years

barely slowed her pace.

No patch was ever a piece of trash.

No thread couldn’t find it’s place.

Red and gold, purple and blue,

a rainbow’s tangled mess.

With visions of color and design,

she stitched a masterpiece every time.

Order your paperback on C.L.Lemay's blog

Notice anything different on my blog? Yeah baby! You can order the paperback directly from the blog! Again remember you can send me an order request via email at lemaycathy3@gmail.com or through a comment on the blog.
I love the addition to the blog! Makes me happy!

Another ABR update

I have just a minute but wanted to check in. Page 29. Not quite the clip I would like to be progressing at, but I didn't have any time yesterday to write. But I will stay encouraged because I managed to squeeze out 2 pages today and it's only 7:30. If I can get another couple of pages tonight, that would be perfect. I try to keep a goal of 3 pages a day when working on a draft - not too much pressure but rather a consistent clip (yeah, I'm using the word again). Besides, I spoke to a reader of THREE CROSSES yesterday and she was sooo very excited to receive her copy of THREE CROSSES. She borrowed one of the proofs and told me that she looks forward to going home every day to read it. She made me autograph her copy. Very cool and scary at the same time this whole being asked for my autograph. Anyway, gotta run. ABR is sounding and looking good. Happy with it despite that its a bit different than I envisioned - but a better different, so that's good.

ABR update

Minutes after last evening's post, I did not write on ABR anymore for the day. So last night, I was at page 23 and it is at a setting change so I stumbled a bit - a little lost as to what I wanted to convey. I set my alarm to get me up an hour earlier this morning. It paid off. I found the voice again and in addition to writing thru page 25, I started a list of situations and details to be aware of that could affect COVET. Tricky thing this writing multiple novels that are linked.
I continue to feel good about ABR. I received a couple of emails yesterday - the topic in both being, "when is the movie (THREE CROSSES) coming out?" Mark and I discussed the pros and cons of looking for an agent last night. Just the fact that he takes all of this seriously despite the fact that I have not reached a large audience yet is extremely encouraging to me. He is not a novel reader and we don't discuss story content but he believes in my skill/talent based on responses I have gotten and my desire to succeed. Makes for a happy writer!
That's it for now - getting ready for work is next in line. I will try to put writing time on the schedule for tonight. Every page I write is one more page closer to being done with the 1st draft.

ABR update - as promised

Taking a quick break to let you know, I just typed "3" on page 23, meaning chapter three is commencing. I wonder if I could feign sick for a week and stay home to write. I think at this clip and this clarity of the story, I would have the whole first draft done come Friday afternoon. I know 23 pages doesn't sound like a lot but you have to remeber that I am squeezing writing time in between all kinds of other activities. I"ll try to check in before I go to bed to give a page count for the day. And BY ALL MEANS PEOPLE, I am up for a cheering squad to encourage me. Throw me a comment, a text, an email (use the gmail account - lemaycathy3@gmail.com as my yahoo account is acting up)- GO! GO! GO! I promise you won't be disappointed. This story is beyond what I could imagine. I'm getting the sweats just reading/writing it! I am so engrossed that I could stay up all night on this thing. Ttyl. P.S. As a reminder, I will need volunteers to read 1st draft for editing and content. I know it's not "proper" to have people read 1st drafts, but as those of you read 1st drafts of THREE CROSSES can attest to - my first drafts are damn close to the final product. It's more explicit than THREE CROSSES and definitely has a disturbing theme, so if you are squimish about interpersonal shit that might trigger an anxiety - don't read it. But at the same time, characters are well developed and much of the story is about redemption, forgiveness, suspence, and plan old fashion love. Hope you enjoy it when the time comes:)

Writing Update

Good Morning! To say that I am in a good mood is a complete understatement. I found the voice to ABR last night. It's actually been coming for a couple of days. When I drive to work in the morning, I start to hear the voice coming in spurts. And yesterday evening and last night, it took on life. Not quite what I expected but then again, I really wasn't expecting anything. The story already exist but the details were lacking. Now it all makes sense. I can see the whole story from beginning to end. What an exhilarating experience! There was always a piece missing that connected the why of the story, but that is no longer the case.
I am certain this is directly linked to the fact that once again I have had a request for another of my novels. One of the readers of THREE CROSSES asked where she could get another one of my books. She is anxious to read more of C.L.LeMay. Boy, does that feel amazing. To think that what I soooo love to do actually makes people happy. Even if there are only a few people who take joy from reading my books/stories, the fact is I have a "fan" base building and they want more. It's not just for my enjoyment anymore. Can you tell I am in a semi-state of sheer joy/shock?
I always knew that ABR was Jackie's story but that missing component that I talked about - it's gone. It's as if I found the bridge and have crossed it. And if I could spend all of the next two weeks writing ABR, it would be completed. But alas, two weeks of nothing but writing is not in the cards (just yet anyway) so I will keep you updated on my progress and hopefully I will have the 1st draft completed no later than the end of September. At which time I will once again need volunteers to proof/edit. Sorry - it's a non-paying position but I would be more than happy to give you a paperback version of it when it comes out. If I keep the momentum going, perhaps I will have copies and e-books out before the end of the year. I will try not to get ahead of myself but I guess there is nothing wrong with having a goal.
Ok - going to walk the dog, punch out a few more pages of ABR, and then start on several projects I have listed for myself for the day. Ciao for now.

THREE CROSSES - Papberback available on Blurb.com

Hi All,
If you would like to buy the paperback version of THREE CROSSES directly, you can visit Blurb.com and type C.L. LeMay or Three Crosses or "recently published". It is for sale for $15.95 plus whatever they charge for s & h.

Thought you would like to know.

C.L.LeMay

THREE CROSSES now available in paperback!

I received the proof copies of THREE CROSSES last week and they look fabulous! I am taking orders at this time. They are $15 (just to cover the expense of having them printed) and any shipping cost that applies if I have to mail it to you - which is probably around $5.
You can request your paperback order on the blog via "comment" or you can order directly through lemaycathy3@gmail.com or call/see me.

Paperback Version is on its Way!

I pressed the order button for the paperback version of THREE CROSSES last night! And tada! The file zipped to their printer and viola! THREE CROSSES is in the works. I didn't have much emotion about it at that moment last night but this morning I am sooo excited. I ordered a proof copy which apparently should arrive next week! So if it looks good, I will order more from there. My mom has already reminded me that she wants a copy and I have had several requests for a paperback copy. Makes me feel like I have a fan club! I wish I could buy a copy for everyone but since my price to have one produced is $12.95 plus tax and freight, I will sell them for $15.00 a copy. (Not you, Mom:) I will give you yours.) Not looking to make any money at this time - just want exposure, so all orders can come to me via phone, email, in person or the blog. Let me know! I would love to place an order of 30+. Whoever gets me the most orders in the next couple of weeks, gets his/her copy for free. So ask around and see who might be interested in reading a new up and coming author - check with book clubs, your co-workers, your Moms, your freinds, etc. Lets see how many copies we can infiltrate into society.
So have a great day and Peace Out

THREE CROSSES Paperback Update

As of last night, all revisions for the paperback version of THREE CROSSES have been completed. I need to review the page layouts to make sure there are no issues there and I need to add the dedication and the disclaimer that this is a work of fiction and any similiarity...yada, yada, yada. So by Monday 7/25/11 (hmm..this day has some meaning for me) I will place the 1st order. Supposedly I could receive the books within a week or 2. Am I happy? Oh YES! So tell your book club buddies that there is a new book to read:) By the way - I will now have time to post on my blog more often and the final version of ABR is starting to take form and will be on sale as an e-book in the near future.

Not Quite a Book Review - THE CASTAWAYS

Title: THE CASTAWAYS. Author: Elin Hilderbrand. This is the 1st title I have read by this author. Overall, I was very invested in the characters. At first I had to bounce back and forth between what I was reading and what I had read simply because the author has 8 main characters, each chapter told from the POV of a different character. I needed reminders who was with who. But once I had it somewhat under control, I enjoyed the storyline, the setting, and the character development. I thought it was a very well plotted book and like I said, I really became invested in the characters. Did I have a favorite character? I did. If you ever read the story I would be interested in knowing which character is your favorite and why. To summarize the story - there are 4 couples - a tight knit group of best friends who live on Nantucket. One couple dies in an accident on the water and their death unsurfaces years of secrets and betrayals amongst the group. It is also a story of emotional healing and love. I recommend this novel for all (mostly the female population) who enjoy a suspenseful romance.

A Tribute To Jojo

I just want to pay my respects to Jojo. She was a Newfoundland with a big heart and a playful nature. She died unexpenctantly last night and her absence will be felt for a long time to come. Her owners, especially her "Daddy" loved her very much and she was a wonderful companion for him and her little chug "brother" Chugga. My heart goes out to my nephews. Losing a pet is a difficult thing for kids to go through. We will miss you over here too, Girl. You were beautiful and sweet. Buddy loved it when I said, "Do you want to go see Chugga and Jojo?" He would dance around in circles and wait at the door. You were always so gentle with him despite the 120 pounds you had on him. It was always a pleasure watching you two chase each other around the yard - you pretending that you couldn't catch him. You made us laugh. We will miss you. I love you and wish you were still here with us. May you rest in peace and have all the snacks your big heart desires.

Lunchbreak Update

I guess it would be nice of me to acknowledge my blog. I am in the process of proofing/editing the paperback version of THREE CROSSES. YES! Paperback editions are coming! The book-making software has glitches so I have to make corrections on each and every page. So any extra time I have has been put towards this project. Hopefully it will be done soon so I can get back into the swing of posting on my blog and working on sales.
All corrections have been made on the e-books and they are reposted. So tell your friends! There are minor changes in the paperback edition but I really think this version is great! Not trying to toot my own horn but I guess it seems that I am. I am pleased with the storyline and the characters. Looking forward to revising ALONG BLACK RIVER manuscript and completing A MIRACLE FOR MACKENZIE.
That's all for now and will check in again after paperback revisions are completed. Feel free to comment. Would love to hear from you! And I will get comments on my phone so I will respond as I get comments, not just whenever I check my blog.
Peace Out

News from C.L.LeMay's computer

All revisions to THREE CROSSES are done and both the Kindle version and the NOOK version have been reposted. They should appear in another day or so! I have downloaded the Blurb bookmaker software and am going to order a copy to see what it looks like in paperback form. I am so excited about that! But holy cow! It's not as easy as it sounds - for me anyway. I am sure there are many people who can easily manuever through the software, but I am stumbling on the cover pages. I am getting there though. Hopefully I will have it all mastered by the weekend. I am not sure if I am going to go with the trade size or the paperback. They suggest the trade but I might still go with the paperback. I think I will ask them if the paperback will work.
And more requests for A MIRACLE FOR MACKENZIE have been put out there. It's the next big project after the Blurb book.
I will check in again soon.:)

Writing Update

Here I am! I have been working on revisions for THREE CROSSES every waking moment not already dedicated to something else. I found several grammar mistakes and a couple of editorial mistakes. But I reread THREE CROSSES. It's been a while since I have actually read the story. I liked it. I am pleased with it and am glad that I have taken the time to fix the problems so I can repost without them. So after this weekend I will be able to get back to the final part of FACT OR FICTION? It's written - I just need to tweak the last few sentences. And then after that - I will return to Mackenzie. There have been quite a few requests for the Mackenzie story and I love that people are enjoying it.
Now to making the corrections in the publishing version of THREE CROSSES.

Fact or Fiction? Part 3

          She felt absurd as she scrolled through the list of links, but it was the first time since she turned on her computer that she felt a spark of recognition. But how silly was that? She was no psychic by any means. If she were, she would certainly make better choices in life, starting with a better job. She chuckled as she clicked on one of the links. Seconds later she was completely engrossed in a story that someone had submitted to the open forum site about her possible experiences in the psychic world. The storyteller was not convinced that she was psychic but had so many brief encounters with the unknown that she felt compelled to ask the question – are my hallucinations a result of a psychic experience?

            Chloe spent the rest of the afternoon reading similar accounts and time and time again came across stories similar to hers. Not necessarily bodies smashing into windshields, but people who saw things that weren’t really there. On occasion she would read of someone having the same hallucination more than once but in most of the cases she read, the hallucinations would abruptly end with no rhyme or reason. A few of them however described the hallucinations coming to fruition.

            “Oh my God,” she whispered. Then her low battery warning gave her two seconds before her computer shut down. She sat there not even considering getting the power cord. She didn’t want to read more. Was there going to be an accident? Was she going to hit a biker while she was driving? She could spend the rest of her life in jail.

            “This is ridiculous,” she told herself and decided to redirect her attention to an air conditioned bedroom. The cold air was refreshing and slightly shocking. Nap time! She slept better than she had in days. When she woke, it was getting dark outside. She looked at her alarm clock. Almost four hours! She stretched and with her arms exposed, realized that it was way too cold. She stood, wrapping a loose blanket around her shoulders and turned the air conditioner down. She patted the top of it and said, “good girl. You did a good job.”

            Back in the living room, she shed the blanket. It wasn’t as oppressive as it had been, but still a world of difference from the bedroom. She glanced at her computer and thoughts of the psychic hallucinations bounced in her mind. Quite silly now that she had put time between her and the accounts of psychic or possible psychic experiences. She didn’t really believe in that kind of nonsense anyway, did she? It was all hocus pocus and she made up her mind that if she experienced any other similar hallucinations that she would call her doctor. But considering she just slept for four hours, it was pretty safe to say that she had been suffering from sleep deprivation. Now perhaps she was caught up on her sleep and would even sleep better that night. So tomorrow would be a better day. One with no bodies flinging off her windshield. It was perfect timing to reevaluate her life and habits. Perhaps she would cut down on the coffee. Two cups rather than three during the day. More sleep. And yes, she would start running again. Maybe drag her bicycle out of storage.

            She was struck with a horrifying thought. What if the images she were seeing were actually a prediction of herself being hit by a car? That’s it. She would dig out her old running sneakers and leave her bike in storage. She was smart enough to know that she was not a psychic having predictions but she was smarter still not to chance the possibility that she was given some kind of cosmic warning. Running shoes it was. She rolled a piece of cheese into a slice of bologna (she’d have to evaluate her eating habits another time, when there was more selection in the fridge) and changed into running clothes.

C.L.LeMay discusses THREE CROSSES

I have been asked a few times recently to give a quick synopsis of THREE CROSSES. 

 

Here goes:

 

THREE CROSSES is a story is about a young man, Simon Madison, about to inherit the family business - Mad Bros. Renaissance Faire. He wants nothing to do with it nor life for that matter. His father died 5 years previous in the clutches of the show's main attraction - Ginger the tiger. It's only when Amanda Moon, the show's new young fortune teller, arrives, does Simon start to feel a desire to partipate in his own life. What he doesn't bargain for is the twist of events that leads him to believe that his father's accident was truly a murder. And when a young classmate and Faire employee turns up mutilated in the swamps behind the family home, Simon and Amanda are propelled towards a deadly secret - they cannot trust anyone. They have to figure out who the murderer is before they become his next victim.

 

Fact or Fiction? - Part 2

           Chloe took another couple of minutes to gather her wits before reversing out of her parking spot. The remainder of the day was uneventful and she soon dismissed the incident as something akin to a hallucination brought on by the oppressive heat and humidity. But as she lay in her bed that night, bedroom windows wide opened to the much needed breeze that had picked up, she wondered how it was that her hallucination had been so very real. It was unnerving what she witnessed but the reality was that she had not witnessed anything. After replaying the scenario several times in her head, she finally found sleep.

            The next morning she was awoke with damp sweaty hair. The air was thick and her sheets were clammy. Another awful day. It wasn’t even 7 am and the day was shaping up to be a horrendous one. At least she had the day off. She was scheduled to work Saturday and in an effort to keep overtime hours down, her boss had given her the day off. She was determined to find a window unit air conditioner that day. She had visited multiple stores the last two weekends but they were sold out everywhere. Maybe today she would have luck. It was a Wednesday after all. Not everyone could be out shopping. She took a quick shower, and changed into shorts, a tank, and a pair of flipflops. Bad driving shoes, but they were all she had for the weather. It was too hot for sneakers and socks. She drove left out of her side street and headed for Wal-Mart. Certainly they would have new arrivals and they were opened early. Maybe she would beat all the other weather whithered folk.

            She had all but forgotten about the hallucination from the previous day until she approached a bus stop. She slowed as she gazed over, compelled by some instinct not of her will. As she looked back, she flinched as she watched her windshield splinter into dozens of jagged cracks. Another body slammed across the glass and more metal, perhaps from a bike, went flying. Chloe didn’t close her eyes but her foot did move towards the brake. Just as quickly as she saw the horrible impact, all evidence of it was gone. Like it had never happened. She heard her breath come in shallow gulps and knew she was on the verge of a panic attack. She looked to her right. No on coming traffic so she pulled over. She managed to keep calm enough to put the car into park. What was going on? Was she losing her mind? Should she call her doctor? But that scared her almost as much as the hallucinations. A doctor might diagnose her as truly crazy. Maybe she had experienced a heat stroke. But that didn’t make sense. Aside from the hallucinations, she felt fine. Well, except for the heat. It was pretty close to unbearable. She slowed her rapid breathing to normal before she pulled back into the traffic that was starting to pick up.

            The rest of the day was all about air conditioning. She bought one, a small one for her bedroom, but it was good enough especially for the money. It was light enough that she could install it herself. She closed the shades in her bedroom and pulled the door closed. She went to the living room thinking she would better appreciate the cool bedroom if it was like a surprise to her. She turned on her laptop and searched the internet for any topic that closely related to her hallucinations.

            Schizophrenia? Almost every sponsored link had the word in it. She scrolled down. Sleep deprivation. That was more of a possibility than schizophrenia – she hoped. The search continued. Too much caffeine. Bipolar disorder. And on and on it went. Nothing struck her as her situation. It was hours of reading and researching and dismissing before she came across a reference to hallucinations and psychic experiences.

THREE CROSSES on sale for $2.99 - limited time offer!

Just a reminder that you do not have to own the Kindle or NOOK to purchase THREE CROSSES from either Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble (BN.com). You can download their application onto your computer, your smartphone, your ipad, etc. and then download the book.

The price is temporarily slashed to $2.99 because my editor (that would be me) left a notation to the author (that would be me) in the manuscript. It is an imperfect copy of the book but the mistake(s) does not effect the storyline.

I am working on the corrections but I cannot just go to my book online and correct. I actually have to correct on my end. Take the book off the Amazon and BN bookshelf and repost the corrected manuscript. This means the book will not be available for sale for a couple of days and that stinks. Unless there is someway to circumvent this process that I am not aware of, I am not looking forward to taking it off their bookshelf.

Please see the links below to purchase your copy of THREE CROSSES.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/THREE-CROSSES/CL-LeMay/e/2940012256027/?itm=1&USRI=c.l.lemay

http://www.amazon.com/THREE-CROSSES-ebook/dp/B004Q7CMCW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305372977&sr=8-1

I have been getting phenomenal feedback from readers who are looking for the next book and have declared that this book would make a great movie. To say the least, I am flying high with these reports.

Also, want to share that BN.com's rating has been fixed. It had gone to 3 1/2 stars although the ratings all looked good. This morning it was back to 5 stars, but here's the kicker - there used to be 8 reviews and 15 ratings. There are now 8 reviews and 11 ratings. Were those other 4 ratings bogus? I am very pleased with the 5 star rating, but why were there ratings that brought my rating way down and where did they go? Did BN recognize them as inappropriate? Was it a clitch in the system? Or did someone have a guilty conscious and delete bad ratings? Hmmm...a feel a story brewing. Well if you did purposefully give me a bad rating, thank you for deleting them (assuming you did and not BN).

Ok, I must run. I have another addition of Fact or Fiction? to post before the day's end and I am plugging away on the corrections to THREE CROSSES - truly a daunting task. I am reviewing it backwards so I can more easily find a mistake without focusing on the story itself. Any offers to proofread for me? Anyone? Haha! Enjoy your weekend:)

Fact or Fiction? Part 1

            The drive to work wasn’t long in miles but the distance might as well be across the continent. The back roads were treacherous in the wintry months and congested in the warmer months with endless red lights, cross roads, and bumper to bumper travelers seeking refuge in another locale, any locale other than the one they had just left. But for Chloe it was just another work day. The air conditioning in her aged boxy navy blue Toyota Camry was the first thing to die shortly after she had scrounged the $1200 together to buy it. Steamy humid air laid on her like a lead blanket. Less than two miles until the final turn.

            She approached the set of lights at the Star Market, easing down on her brake as she anticipated the inevitable change from green to yellow. It was her luck. There was no escaping it. She could only succumb to it. Bam! Her head snapped back, her eyes closed tight, and both feet slammed the brakes to a screeching halt. Oh God! Was that a biker? A pedestrian? What just hit her windshield? Who just hit her windshield? She couldn’t bare to open her eyes, but when the car horns started to blare, she knew she had to look. She braced herself to see blood smeared across her glass. Her heart pounded as she peeked through slit lids. Nothing. She opened them further. Still nothing. Not a drop of blood. Not a crack across the glass. She looked around for the poor mangled soul but all she saw were a few people at a bus stop looking at her like she had lost her mind.

            “Move it, lady!” The driver behind her yelled.

She reacted and pulled into the market parking lot. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel and she wasn’t sure she could pry them away to put the car into park. She sat in drive, foot on brake and hands clasping the wheel for a full minute before she could do anything. And then it was only because a man approached her from the bus stop. He bent down to look into the open driver’s window.

“You ok?” He asked, looking a tad concerned with his face twisted in an expression that could have been just concern or concern and fear.

“Did you see what happened?” Chloe’s voice was shaky.

“Yeah. You slammed on your brakes. The guy behind you was an inch away from slamming into you. You’re lucky he didn’t hit you.”

“No, I mean…you know…the person on the bike that hit my windshield.”

The bus stop man took a step back from Chloe’s car. Who knew? Maybe insanity was contagious. “Nobody hit your windshield.”

Chloe shook her head. Was she hallucinating? “I swear I saw something hit my windshield. A person on a bike or something.”

“Ma’am maybe you should get some water or something. It’s real hot out.” He turned at the sound of the diesel bus approaching. “You going to be ok?” He asked but not really waiting for an answer as he backed away and then turned across the grass to the bus stop. He looked at Chloe one more time as he boarded and gave her a half hearted wave. She nodded but only as an acknowledgement.

It had been so real. She saw it as clear as she saw the man get on the bus.

Saying Hello!

I am alive, just been very busy restructuring my approach to marketing and book business. I have tiptoed around ABR, Mackenzie book, and some short stories. Currently I am working on the corrections for THREE CROSSES so I can repost without the issues. Put it this way - I have employed an assistant to help me because I have soooo much to do. Reading this morning about how other authors are utilizing Facebook in their marketing strategy. Have a work project due tomorrow that I need to focus on tonight if I am to get it done. Etc, etc. My short-term goal is to get onto a schedule so that all writing stuff has a daily place in the ...blah blah blah. I am actually bored with this post. I have voicemail messages I haven't listened to. Hundreds of emails I need to weed through. Laundry to put away but first need to move winter stuff away to make room for warmer weather clothes. Hmmm...will I ever be a successful published author? Yes. I will continue on and find my beat. Despite the fact that this post probably sounds depressing - I am not. I actually feel confidant that it will all work out. I will touch base again soon.:)

ABR excerpt

A note regarding the below post - this is an alternate beginning I wrote once upon a time for Along Black River. It is NOT the actual beginning that I use. But I wanted to give you a writing sample and I actually like this excerpt, just not for this particular book. So I decided this was a place to share it.

        Somewhere in the deep trenches of her brain, Jackie knew she was dying. She was aware of the lull that had only seconds before been barking commands, squels of rubber soles on waxed floors, and beeps - lots and lots of electric beeps. But the trenches of her brain didn't matter anymore. She just knew. Just like that, she knew. She saw it all but not with her eyes. It was just knowledge. Everything was a vibrating energy. Her energy pulsated at a different rhythm, which was why she was aware of all those people around what used to be her body. It lay there on the table, chest exposed. A man's hands doubled up between her breast, attempting to resurrect her still heart. Another person, a female, yelled, "clear!" Paddles filled the limp heart with electrical current. Electricity. It was the life force. No wonder Mary Shelley explored the phenomenon. It was the giver of life-it was life-it was all and everything. It all pulsated to electrical current.
        "Clear!"

     Jackie didn't open her eyes. She knew where she was and why she was there. There was little haziness. She knew that a nurse checked her vitals every five minutes, not because she was in critical condition anymore, but because the doctors had fully expected her to be conscience by now. Was she comatose? Her vitals said no. Her heart beat had returned and was strong considering the blood loss and the physical trauma her body had sustained. And considering she was clinically dead for almost two whole minutes, well it was a wonder that she had survived. Perhaps there was undetected brain loss. Jackie heard the nurse when she said, "she must have really wanted to live." The unspoken response was, "so why did she try to kill herself?"
        Jackie kept her eyes closed, responded only to those tests that her reflexes controlled. She made no sound or twitched. Yet she was alert. She didn't want to return. She wanted to be gone. Living was just too damn hard. It was like there was always a pillow over her face anyway. She struggled to breathe and to make sense of the why of life. She didn't feel like trying anymore. Why did they bring her back? Obviously she wanted to be gone, to be dead. She held back the urge to touch the fresh wounds. She felt the bandage wrapped around her left wrist. She did it with one quick incision-not like the time before where there were several cuts-most minor. She hadn't died back then. She hadn't even passed out.
        And now twelve years later, her second attempt at suicide was debunked by professionals who did their jobs all too well.

I will pick this up again later and continue with this excerpt....

Writing Updates

I am tempted to post some of ABR (Along Black River). It took a while to locate what I have on it but unfortunately a lot of my writing is lost. I had a flood in my basement last year that wiped out everything that was in the bottom shelf of my file cabinet. I also have stuff saved on floppy discs - remember those? I actually have a floppy disk drive that I can connect to my computer. I tried going through them this weekend because there are a dozen or so books and/short stories on them. It took me a while to realize that the reason they weren't working was because the discs were Macintosh formatted! It has been years and years since I had an Apple. So anyway - I finally found some hard copies of ABR and wow! I fell in love with the story again. I am trying to decide where to focus my attention. I really would like to work on ABR. Maybe I will post a few pages and see what kind of reaction I get. I haven't forgotten about A Miracle for Mackenzie. It's just that when I have time to write, I am more of a mystery/suspense author. I love writing the Mackenzie story. I wish I could conjure more time to write. I suppose if I stop sleeping, I could. Oh the dilema. Happy Monday (almost - it's Sunday night as I write this.) and I will get back on track. I just need to make up my mind and sometimes that isn't the easiest thing when it comes to my writing. Writing is something I could do for hours and hours every single day and when I am limited with time, I get confused as to which story I should be working on. I'm taking suggestions - feel free to comment.

Sharing my thoughts

"When life gets to hard to stand, kneel." A sign on my kitchen window sill. Thought I would just share it with you. But seriously, have you ever actually tried kneeling when you pray? I don't know about you, but it's pretty powerful stuff - assuming you actually allow yourself to focus on what you are thinking about rather than think about how silly you feel when you are doing it. Ok, enough of that - don't like talking about that except with a few select individuals. I hate being judged, although I am completely aware that there's not a damn thing I can do about it. People are going to judge whether we like it or not, but yeah, it's probably my biggest weakness.
I really don't have much thoughts to share right now. Sad, huh? Mackenzie is in a holding pattern because...ok, I don't really know why. I just know my brain needs a break. OMG she's talking about her brain again! Why?! I have come to the conclusion that my BRAIN (yes, I said brain again) is in hyperdrive at most times. It is seldom that I think about one thing at a time. And I really mean that. At the exact same time that I am thinking about what I am writing here, I have several other things developing and working in my head. I have no less than three books, one short story and at least one developing short story bouncing in my head. I also am evaluating the chores - dishwasher needs emptying from earlier this evening. Need to buy more dishwashing detergent. K has homework that I helped her with earlier and needs more attention. Her band instrument is missing in action and I am doing a vertual (is that how you spell it) tour of my house trying to remember where it is. Watching Weather Channel and thinking about the storms I grew up with and wish I could experience one of those again - they were intensely cool! (No disrespect to those dealing with the current storms - I'm not talking about experiencing the devestation that Alabama is suffering right now - I'm talking about the intensity of a long storm, anticipation, etc.) Need to change laundry over. I need to iron for tomorrow morning. Ok - get the drift? In my head these are not thoughts that I have one after another. They are all occurring at the same time. I just can't write about them at the same time. Sounds like a potential mental illness! Hah!
So this is just to show you why Mackenzie has not made another appearance. She's there. she just hasn't manifested in a form that I can display on the blog. But I will try to weed out the other crap so I can reach her. If nothing else, I painted my toenails. That has been bugging me like crazy. can't wait for the first pedicure of the season. Not that it's routine for me. I think in my entire life I have received either 3 or 4 pedicures. But I think I will get one soon.
Like anyone gives a giant crap about my nails. Except for me. Oooohhhh! And this is MY blog - so there you go. Pedicure. Exciting topic for the evening.
Peace out people. I shall be back - hopefully with Mackenzie's story and not mine!

Updates on THREE CROSSES

I have just recently learned that there are editorial mistakes in both the Amazon and the BN.com versions of THREE CROSSES. For all of you who have purchased a copy, I am terribly sorry for that. I make a better writer than a self-editor. When I write a book, especially one at full steam like I did with THREE CROSSES, I have a habit of writing NOTES TO CATHY within the manuscript. These are just for my reference and serve as a tag so I know where to return to review or correct. They might be notes on a detail that I cannot recall from earlier or a question I have regarding the direction the plot should move in. I go back to these notes later, after the 1st draft is written and work on them at that time. If I tried to fix or address these issues as they pop up, I would never get through a 1st draft. Well apparently I left one or two of those self-notations rather then delete them on the final draft. And then that copy not only went into epublication but it also went to the Copyright office like that. UGH! I will address this but I don't want to take them off sale just yet and I am not prepared to fix these mistakes just yet.
Anyone who has read the epublished version of the book and can recall any of these mistakes, please let me know so I can more quickly get to fixing them.
On another note, A Miracle for Mackenzie will be along shortly (not likely tonight) but I am still recovering from this cold or flu or whatever it is/was. It knocked me for a loop and I am trying to get back on track. Again thank you for all the kind words about the Mackenzie story. I really do get energized and excited to work on it some more when I hear that people are enjoying the story and are waiting for the next installment.
In the meantime, you will just have to settle for boring personal notes like this one:)

A Miracle for Mackenzie - 7

          I walked the short distance to the table, telling myself that I wanted to check out the flowers. They were beautiful. Nothing from the grocery store florist. Red and pink roses, not even opened completely, tucked neatly into white and green flowers that I didn’t even know the name of. I traced my fingers across the envelope and I picked it up to investigate his handwriting. I wanted to see if there was any aggression in his penmanship or if it looked friendly. I couldn’t tell but it didn’t look angry. It just looked like his handwriting, near indiscernible print. I flipped it over. It was sealed.

            “What the heck,” I said to no one and jammed my finger under the flap. I ripped it opened in a jagged line and pulled out the folded white paper. I opened it to find a money order made payable to me but without my address. It was for five hundred dollars. The letter was printed in his handwriting but I could tell he must have taken his time to write it because it was neater and easier to read than his usual handwriting.

            Dearest Mackenzie,

You have every reason in the world to hate me and I don’t blame you if you never wanted to see my face again. But please know that I hate myself too. I hate that I have destroyed everything we had. You and the baby are so precious to me and I would do anything to have you back. My life is so empty without you and I feel like I am dying every day that I wake without you by my side. I know I cannot ask you for your forgiveness but I hope that in time you will know that I promise to never hurt you like that again. Can we please try one more time? I can take care of you and the baby. You won’t have to worry about a job or health insurance. I will make you my wife and make sure that you are taken care of. I hate that you are out there in the world trying to do it all on your own. You don’t have to. Give me the chance to be the man I know I can be and I promise you won’t regret it.

I have enclosed a money order because I knew if I wrote a check from my account you wouldn’t cash it. And I know you need it. I heard you got fired from your waitressing job. But that’s ok. You are too good for that anyway. I know you need the money so I wanted to make sure you had it. I can send you more or better yet, you can come home and never worry about money ever again.

I love you Mackenzie and I think that somewhere in your heart you still love me. A love like ours can’t be destroyed.

Forever yours,

Jason

            I read the note a second time before the tears started rolling down my face. I had felt so confidant earlier that I could do this on my own, but I suddenly felt stupid and incompetent. Was I doing Renee an injustice by striking out on my own? Pretending that I could be a responsible caregiver on my own?  Hell, I didn’t have money to buy her diapers, let alone a crib. What was I thinking? It was great and all that I was just offered a full time job but I was exhausted all the time. How did I expect to work 40 hours when I felt like I needed a nap every few hours? And with a full time job, I would have to find a daycare for her once she was born. How could I afford that? But not even the money, what kind of mother was I to send her off all those hours in a week? Someone else would be raising her. And then what happens to my job if she got sick and I had to take off from work to stay home with her? It was more than my brain could handle.

            I hated Jason for doing this to me. I crumbled the note and tossed it on the floor. The money order stared at me from the table. I decided not to crumble it. I could use it. And it was his responsibility to help anyway. I’m not the one who cheated. At that moment it dawned on me that he would be responsible for child support. I hadn’t even considered that as a possibility. And then I really started to cry because I wandered what kind of father Jason was going to be and suddenly I saw him in my head with another woman. They would be a happy couple and Renee would love going over there to their place where she had toys and her own room and clothes and better food on the table. He would make sure that in his home he provided her with a crib and diapers and a mobile. I completely lost it at that moment. I flung myself on the couch and bawled, hysterically shaking and sobbing. I was going to be the worst mother on the planet and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

More Comments on Mackenzie from Catherine Lee

As a reminder - A Miracle for Mackenzie is a work in progress. This translates to - there will be mistakes. This is also NOT what the final product will look like. But so far I am happy with the story line for the most part. There are details I will most likley change. Not crazy about Jason's name but it will have to do for the time being. Anyway, enjoy this next installment and I will see you all tomorrow.

A Miracle for Mackenzie - 6

2

            Sixteen fifty an hour? I had never earned that much my entire life. By the time I was back in my car, I was feeling giddy. I turned the engine and rolled down all four windows. It was hot as Hades, but I didn’t care. I had a job! A job that paid me sixteen dollars and fifty cents an hour. I looked in the rearview mirror to backup and I thought how in just a couple of months, I would look in my mirror and see a baby seat with Renee in it. A baby seat. I needed one of those too. Oh the list was getting longer and longer. Maybe Joy could loan me one from the twins when they were just little things, assuming she still had them.

            I drove away from the building filled with excitement and hope. I wouldn’t need Jason after all, thank goodness. Of course the reality was that eventually I would have to take time off when I had the baby. Then I would have to find a sitter. A sitter would probably charge at least half of my income. Would they hold my job for me while I was on maternity leave? Did they have to by law?

            I would figure that out later. For the time being, I would have an income. I would save as much of it as possible so while I was on maternity leave, I would have money for Renee. I detoured to Wal-Mart. It was usually pretty crowded, but not at that time. Probably too hot for people to be out. I walked directly to the back of the store where the baby clothes and supplies were. There were so many pretty little dresses for newborns. Fancy ones with pink polka dots on the skirts and gingham prints in shades of green and yellow. I traced my fingers over the fabric of one of the green gingham dresses. It had watermelons appliqués sewn on the bodice. So sweet. I looked at the price tag. $15.99. Almost an hour’s worth of work. I released my hold on the dress. It would have to wait until I actually got a paycheck. I slowly walked through the aisles making mental notes of all the supplies I would need. Bottle, wipes, powder, baby lotion and shampoo. Cleaning brushes for the bottles, thermometer, nail clippers, nasal suction bulb, diapers, a highchair. The list seemed endless. Blanket, mobile. A mobile was a luxury item, but I knew my baby would get one. Somehow or another, I would see to it that she would have a mobile over her crib. Her crib! They were so expensive and where was I going to put it in my teeny tiny apartment?

            Suddenly, I wanted to cry. I wanted my baby girl to have so many things, but I was in no position to buy them for her. I felt like such a loser. What kind of mother was I going to be, bringing a precious little girl into the world where I couldn’t even afford to buy her a mobile for her crib? I walked away from the baby aisles and out of the store. I had felt so confidant going in, knowing that I would have paychecks soon, good paychecks. But now, looking at all the stuff I needed, the money didn’t seem enough.

            I found my car and drove home, only crying once I was behind the wheel. As I pulled into the bumpy dirt street behind the three decker, two little girls stopped their jump roping and stepped to the side of the road to let me pass. As soon as I was past them they were back in the road, one jumping and the other hollering as she counted the number of jumps. “Forty-three. Forty-four.” I guess my interruption didn’t make them start the count over. I watched them for a few seconds and recovered some of my confidence. I was given an opportunity and I was going to make the most of it. My daughter would one day be old enough to jump rope and all these fears would be long gone.

            I parked along side the beat up fence that separated the backyard of weeds and dirt from the road. I left enough room to open the car door. It was getting harder and harder to get in and out of the car. I struggled with my bag but shut the door. Across the yard at my front door was a beautiful mixed bouquet of flowers in a clear vase. Oh no. Jason figured out where I live. I shuffled, which I was doing more of lately, down the length of the dirt driveway. Two cars were parked, one belonging to the landlady and the other to her son. Their tenants parked wherever they could find a spot. I opened the gate and walked down the few steps. I reached for the card in the little plastic stick. On the little florist card was Jason’s handwriting. “Mackenzie, please give me a second chance. Love, Jason.” My heart raced. He knew where I lived. I didn’t want to see him.

            It was hard to bend down and grab the vase, but there wasn’t a lot of water so none splashed on me as I grasped it into the crook of my elbow. I unlocked the door and stepped in. On the floor just on the other side of a door was and envelope with just my first name scrawled on the front, in Jason’s handwriting. I put the flowers on the little round kitchen table that served as my desk as well. I went back to the envelope and bent down for it. I didn’t open it but rather called Joy, tossing the envelope next to the flowers.

            “Hi Mackenzie,” she answered on the third ring. In the background, I could hear one of the boys crying.

            “Joy, did you tell Jason where I live?”

            “Of course not. I take it you’re home now. Where were you?”

            “How does he know where I live?”

            “He doesn’t. I delivered the flowers and the note.”

            I felt a sense of relief wash over me but I only felt a little better. I had worked hard to distance myself from Jason and having his presence in my home was unnerving to say the least. “Did you call him?”

            “No. He called me. Said he found out you worked at Pepper’s and went by there. Found out you had been fired. Mackenzie, he really wants to work things out with you. Give him a chance.”

            “Whose side are you on?”

            “Don’t be silly. Yours of course.” The crying got closer. She must have picked up the crying twin because it sounded like he was on the phone.

            “I can’t go back to him. He cheated on me, Joy. While I was pregnant.”

            “He’s sorry. Really, really sorry. He wants to make it up to you.” And then to the baby in her arms she said, “Shh, shh, shh.” I could imagine her bouncing him on her hip.

            “I don’t care that he’s sorry. He shouldn’t have cheated in the first place, then he’d have nothing to be sorry about. And you know things weren’t good between us anyway.”

I don’t know if she heard me over the baby’s crying or not because she said, “Did you open the envelope yet?”

I looked at it on the table. “No.”

“Then open it and call me back.” She didn’t wait for me to answer but I heard her say before she disconnected, “Come on, Paul, stop the crying.”

            I closed my phone and stared at the envelope. I told myself that I didn’t want to know what was in it.    Part of me wanted to shred it to a million pieces but another part of me was curious. I had fallen in love with Jason the moment I saw him. Something about him made me feel like he could see me all the way to my soul. I knew I was still messed up over him but I couldn’t go back to him, could I? Wouldn’t I be a pathetic if I went back to him?

A Morning Quote from My Homepage

"To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe." - Carl Sagan

It's good to be brilliantly funny.

A Miracle for Mackenzie - 5

The machine behind Barbie stopped making noise and she turned to retrieve my license. She handed it back to me and smiled. “Are you finished with these?” She didn’t wait for an answer but took the papers back without even glancing at them before she tucked them into the folder.

            “We have a couple of shifts here to accommodate our international professors and the west coast. But for the time being, you can come in tomorrow at ten. Abby is the floor shift supervisor who will get you started. You’ll have to come in the main entrance until we get you an employee passcard. Any questions?”

            “Um, yes. Why is Mr. Riley hiring me? He doesn’t even know me.”

            “Mackenzie, no one knows why Mr. Riley does half the things he does. Just consider yourself lucky that you found a job in this economy. Any other questions?”

            “How much does the job pay?” I hadn’t even considered the possibility that it paid minimum wage. I might be better off with unemployment.

            “Oh, I’m sorry.” Barbie looked to her computer screen and seemed to be looking for something. It might have been an email from the way she recited to me as she looked at the screen. “$16.50 an hour. 40 hours a week. You don’t qualify for the health and dental insurance plan until after you have been here for three months.” She looked back at me. “Abby will go over your schedule. Let her know about any upcoming doctor’s appointments and she’ll work around them.”

            I shook my head. $16.50 an hour? Holy cow!

            “You get paid every week, but any hours this week will be in next Friday’s check. Do you want your check directly deposited into your checking account?”

            “That would be great.”

            Barbie smiled again. “Do you have a blank check with you? I can start the processing on that but it probably won’t go through until your second check. Our payroll service is a little outdated with the times.”

            I fished through my bag, thankful I had returned the checkbook. I tore out a blank check and passed it across the desk to her. She wrote VOID across the front of it and tucked it into the folder. She looked at her computer screen again. Her computer beeped. She moved her computer’s mouse and then pressed the button.

            She read something on her screen for a few seconds. Then she said, “Mackenzie, Mr. Riley just sent me an email. He wants to know if you have health insurance coverage in the interim.”

            “I can get COBRA.” He emailed her? Was he sitting in his office behind the closed door? How did he know I was here?

            She typed without looking at the keyboard, a skill I had always envied. I was a descent typist but I had to look at the keypad. She stopped and watched the screen. After a few seconds, there was another beep and she read.

            She looked at me and smiled. “Do you have email, Mackenzie?”

            “Not anymore. I don’t have a computer at home.”

            “I have to set you up with a company email address. I’ll send you a link to the Mass Fair Health Plan. You can check it out tomorrow.”

            The computer beeped again. She read and smiled.

            “Mackenzie, you have a car, yes?”

            “Yes.”

            “Mr. Riley asked that you spend some of your time tomorrow taking care of your health insurance issue.”

            “I can do it in my free time, since I don’t have to be here until 10.” I was anxious to start clocking in my hours. It was already Wednesday so I only could get two days of work under my belt. I had already walked away from Pepper’s with my check for the week. I had included it in my budgeting.

            Barbie held her hands up in protest. “What Mr. Riley is getting at here is he wants to know if you would mind running a few errands for him tomorrow and while you are out and about, take care of your health insurance needs.”

            “Instead of working in the office?”

            “Both. Come here at ten as planned. And from there we will figure out your day. He’ll pay you for your time no matter whether you are in the office or running errands for him. It is his company after all.”

            “Whatever he wants is fine.”

            “Very well, then,” she said and stood up. She walked around the desk and held her hand out to me. I stood too and shook her hand. “We will see you tomorrow at ten. Just come to the main entrance and ask for me again.”

            “Thank you. And please thank Mr. Riley for me.”

            Barbie smiled and released my hand. “Can you find your way out?”

            “Yes, no problem.”

            Barbie shut her office door behind me and I was only a few steps away when her intercom buzzed at her desk. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I bet a hundred dollars it was Mr. Riley.

Where are you C.L.LeMay?

I am terribly sorry that I have disappeared. I shall return shortly. Got hit with a fever. I assume some kind of bug but don't really have any other symptoms. This is the first time in a couple of days that I have turned on my computer. Mackenzie will be along - hopefully this evening. Again, sorry for the interruption in the flow of the story. But I am thrilled that there are readers who are anxiously awaiting her return:)

To the Faithful Followers of Mackenzie

Mackenzie will make her 5th appearance tonight. Sorry for the delay - busy (but good) weekend. Also, I have lowered the price of THREE CROSSES on Bn.com and Amazon.com. I did this for 2 reasons. #1. It seems to be a trend among new authors/epublication authors to keep the prices down which is a direct correlation to more sales - I would assume. And #2. I want to get the next novel prepared for publication and if I could get my attention off of THREE CROSSES, I think it will be easier to move in that direction. So, anyone wanting to buy the novel but don't want to spend $9.99 on an author you've never heard of - now's the time to buy at $2.99. It may eventually return to $9.99 - so buy now. It's a bargain! My Spring gift to the readers out there who will eventually want to read more C.L.LeMay:)
Hectic week commences now - but Mackenzie will be here tonight for tomorrow's viewing. Also look for a short story within a couple of weeks. I need to tweak the short story since it has a couple of versions, but I am excited to post it.
Happy Monday to all of you. And again, thank you for giving me the encouragement to keep posting A Miracle for Mackenzie.